I thought I won’t be writing about relationships anymore but ummm…I just thought I needed to release this itch of writing something…something that makes me raw & human, so I decided to write something a bit personal but not too much. When I look back to my Multiply posts, god it makes me cringe. I was oversharing what’s happening to my relationship and it even got to a point where I had a cyber fight with someone (oh mama, was I feisty during my younger years) because I ranted through a long blog post and wrote everything in detail about something (oh hello, third party…boy did she mess with the wrong woman). But gone are those days and I just figured I’d like to write something about what I and my partner has been through that some people would understand and relate with.
**I promise not to over share and keep our personal stuff between the two of us.
1. Since this post is about surviving long distance relationship, let me start with something really relevant about it…TRY TO BE TOGETHER because for Pete’s sake, life is too short to be together and yet you’re logistically apart!
I’m lucky to have a man who wanted to be with me so bad, he’s willing to storm Dubai Summer so we could try and see what’s in it for us if we’re together. Aidan and I only dated once before he left for England after visiting his parents here in Dubai. We spotted each other–I’d like to use the phrase ‘spotted each other’ because the well-reserved and conservative lady in me is not proud to say that I was the one who searched or shall I stay stalked? him on Facebook after seeing him at a poetry event because I was too shy to start a conversation with him in the actual event but never forgotten how he looks too sweet whilst sitting with his parents in the crowded Book Munch for a poetry reading–while the liberated woman of the 21st century side of me made me glad I did that! That’s how you get things done, kids. *wink*wink
After our first date we never let a day pass without speaking to each other then a few months later, he decided to come back here in Dubai to see what’s in it for us and it’s been a year and 19 days since our first date and we’re closer to each other–he’s learning a lot of Tagalog, met the important people in my life & has been told by my grandmother to take care of me (which I assume is a good sign) and for myself, I can pretty much understand the English language in three different accents, I have eaten as much potatoes I could eat in my entire life in a month & knew how to overcome my impatience because I have fond something worth the shot.
Oh! I forgot to mention that he was the one who asked me out on a date even though I was the one who added him up on Facebook. 😉
2. Communicate constantly but don’t watch each other like a hawk.
Our style was to send novel like messages on Facebook in the morning and before the day ends. England is 3 hours behind from Dubai, for some reason it worked out well for us. I am thankful that I have somehow encouraged Aidan to be a little bit more techie savvy than he was (he’s set up his first Skype account so we could see each other whilst speaking! after three months of only Facebook messages and phone calls). We liked each other enough to allot a time in the day to send each other messages a la Romeo & Juliet.
It wasn’t a constant banter and small talks like ‘you haven’t replied to me in 4 minutes and 64 seconds!! whatcha doin’?!? are you talking to some other girl!?!.’ We built a foundation of trust, we knew we were two different people who are living two different lives he’s three hours behind–he could still be snoring while I’m having my lunch. Be patient and be a little more considerate, the gap of his replies does not define how much he loves you.
3. Trust him and mean it.
When he says that he’s going to be out with his mates, don’t be a creep and stalk his mates to find out if he’s really with them. Long Distance Relationship is crazy hard, either you’re in it 100% or you’re not. If you won’t give him your complete trust and given the fact that you’re away from each other won’t help. Trust your partner wholly, if you don’t then what’s the point? I don’t know about you but I don’t like wasting my time and effort of being with someone if I know I’m not a 100% with them. Either I could take a bullet for you or I’m out of the picture.
Long Distance Relationship is only a phase in a relationship, it is a test of how far could one go and a serious test of patience (especially in cases like myself!). Not everyone has to experience it, but if I had the chance to change our story, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It has made our bond so strong that even if we have to be away from each other again, we know that we could find home in each other’s heart, arms & legs, and then we’ll cling to each other like Koala Bears after not seeing each other in a couple of weeks!